Science Fiction/Double Feature
Flash Fiction February Day 24: The cursed collectors
Flash Fiction February — Day 24
Theme: The Cursed Collectors
Genre: Horror + Dark Comedy
I’m taking part in Bradley Ramsey’s Flash Fiction February, where every like, comment, and restack earns points.
I love music, and originally wanted to fill this with showtunes, but had to settle instead for songs in the public domain, turning it a little bit Christmassy.
Read the story, cheer on the writers, and dive into a month of tiny tales. Check out all of the other amazing Week 4 entries here, or read the rest of my submissions here.
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They had obtained most of their collection from garage sales and deceased estates of haunted houses.
Brad and Janet specialised in the items that others claimed were haunted or cursed. Most times, all they needed was some airing out and a fresh coat of paint. But that online exorcism class had come in handy occasionally, too.
They had just returned with their latest haul, dusting the snow off their jackets from the early December chill. This estate had a lot of strange things: a motorcycle, an operating table, and gold hot pants. But they were drawn to a golden frame featuring a pair of pouting, luscious red lips on a black background. It was too good to resist. And the red matched their Christmas decorations in a fun, twisted way.
Once they got home, Janet hung it in pride of place in the entryway. She finished it off by hanging a piece of red-and-green festive tinsel from it before going to bed.
The next morning, she came downstairs and admired the full, red lips. It might have been her imagination, but they didn’t seem quite as pouting as before. She might even have called the expression a little smug.
She entered the kitchen to greet Brad. Music was playing in the background, which she assumed to be the radio. She turned to greet Brad.
‘Hark the herald angels sing,’ she sang, before clamping her hands over her mouth.
‘You’re getting into the Christmas spirit a bit early,’ Brad laughed.
Janet tried again. ‘God rest ye merry gentlemen,’ she scolded. She looked around in horror before running out of the room. She ran past the entryway, where the lips were now showing a full grin, and ran up to their office.
Brad followed her, finding her scribbling madly with a pen and paper.
She handed him a piece of paper. Every time I try to talk, I start singing.
‘Okay, I see now. We can figure this out.’
‘Joy to the world!’ Janet replied.
‘Did we pick up any new cursed items? Maybe a Christmas decoration?’
They rummaged through yesterday’s bags, finding a small angel blowing a trumpet.
‘Maybe this is it?’ Brad asked.
Janet nodded. They performed their usual exorcism rituals for new items, with Brad chanting and Janet quietly fa-la-la-ing beside him.
Just for good measure, they then smashed the angel and threw it in the bin outside.
‘How do you feel now?’ asked Brad.
‘A thrill of hope…’ Janet started, before trailing off sadly.
‘We’ll just keep looking until we find it. Until then, you can keep singing.’ He grinned at Janet, who glared at him.
‘Silent night.’
‘Or you can write down what you want to say.’
This was the start of a long week in which Janet sang every thought that came to her head as a Christmas Carol, or scribbled notes to Brad while they tried to find the source of the musical haunting. The lips on the wall poked their tongue out at them, but they were too busy to notice.
Brad stopped and looked at the lips hanging on the wall, draped in tinsel. The lips were open, teeth visible in a boisterous laugh.
‘Hey Janet, do these lips look different to when we got them?’ he asked.
She came out and pointed, gesturing excitedly. ‘Laughing all the way.’
She grabbed her notepad. ‘No, it was pouting when we bought it.’
‘Hmm,’ thought Brad aloud, removing the tinsel.
Janet started singing Help! by The Beatles.
‘Maybe you were singing Christmas Carols because of the tinsel?’
Janet leaned closer to the image and inspected it closely. There was a small ant now balancing along the edge of the frame. She pointed at it and started singing I Saw Her Standing There by The Beatles.
‘I think it makes whoever hangs it sing their thoughts,’ Brad said, fascinated. ‘And it reacts to whatever’s around it.’ He inspected it with renewed professional curiosity.
Janet rolled her eyes and grabbed the lips off the wall, which had now turned into a shocked O of horror, before hurling the picture out the front door, belting Defying Gravity from Wicked.
She started smashing the frame while singing Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus. And finally, for good measure, she grabbed some petrol and a lighter, humming Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash.
Brad looked at her warily. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Hallelujah!’ Janet belted. ‘Just kidding. Thank god that’s over. I’m never singing another Christmas carol ever again.’
They went back inside, holding hands, while the picture smouldered in the snow, the faint refrain of Oops I Did It Again by Britney Spears coming up from the ashes.
I would love to hear your thoughts on my story.
Do you have a favourite artist you would quote if you could communicate only in song lyrics?
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← Read Day 23 Creative Spark Inc.
Read Day 25 → Hunting Shadows
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